B&Q Speke faces closure following Funes Mori sale.

Mori-BBQ

The B&Q store in Speke’s New Mersey Retail Park faces closure following the sale of Ramiro Funes Mori to Villarreal.

Shares in the hardware giant fell rapidly following confirmation of the move, and it is suspected that up to one hundred permanent staff members could lose their jobs.

B&Q employee Barry Venison expressed his disappointment, “Mr Mori would be in here every day buying barbecue equipment by the trolley-load. It didn’t matter what the weather was like – nothing could stop him. He’d often be here, five minutes before we opened – slightly miss-timing it, kissing his loyalty card for no particular reason, with some kind of bun thing on his head – maybe because he liked burgers.

The Argentinian, who has long expressed a desire to return to his homeland, finally saw his wish granted last week, as he secured a transfer to Villarreal in Spain – moving him at least 400 miles nearer to Buenos Aires.

Blues handed tough start in leaked fixtures.

Premier League fixtures for the 2018/19 season have been leaked ahead of their official release on the 14th June.

In what is now a customary ploy to destabilise the club and ensure the blues don’t break back into the top six, Everton have been handed a typically tough run of fixtures to start the season.

The blues will travel to the Bernabéu on the opening day to face European Champions Real Madrid, before a tough home fixture against Bayern Munich. They return to Spain a week later to take on Ernesto Valverde’s Barcelona, before a testing trip back in time for a game against the 1970 Brazil team at the Maracanã.

The second fixture at Goodison will see Everton take on a World Cup 2018 all-star eleven, whilst fans demand Marco Silva’s well-groomed head.