Kevin Mirallas is trying to force his way into Marco Silva’s plans by putting in a series of good pre-season performances.
The Belgian snake (30) has also been muscling his way onto free-kick duties, and is relishing stealing the next penalty kick, whilst our spineless captain watches on in silence.
The pattern of a handful of decent performances followed by a period of sulking and down-tooling, is of course textbook Mirallas. However, it is not clear this time what his motivation is. Having arrived in Athens to a returning hero’s welcome, only to be chased back to the airport a few months later by a mob of seething Greeks, another dream-move to Olympiakos is no longer on the cards. Whilst Everton themselves are already well-stocked in the non-prolific striker and inconsistent winger departments.
Rumours around Finch Farm suggest that his motivation relates to a wager he is having with the equally ophidian Morgan Schneiderlin.
Olympiacos narrowly failed to sign Kevin Mirallas on transfer deadline day, due to the minor technicality of not actually submitting a bid for him.
The Greek champions were confused about how the transfer system worked. Following closure of the transfer window, club President Evangelos Marinakis said, “We didn’t realise we had to submit an actually monetary offer for Kevin, we just asked him to do his usual cry-arsing in the hope that would be enough. Turns out Everton wanted money.”
Though often criticised throughout his Goodison career, Mirallas has consistently delivered in the cry-arsing stakes – often to most effect when being substituted after an anonymous display. Perhaps frustratingly for blues fans, his best cry-arsing performances have been whilst on international duty with Belgium – aided by the fact that he has been surrounded by an entire squad full of cry-arses.
Mirallas has now returned from the international break, and this weekend he will face the tough task of picking up a massive wage, driving a gold car, and looking for a new Olympiacos dummy to spit out.