Tag Archives: rooney

Rooney’s year long testimonial comes to an end.

Wayne Rooney’s year long testimonial came to an end last week as he completed a deal to join MLS side D.C. United on a three and a half year contract.

The year long testimonial was arranged by chairman Bill Kenwright as a thank you for Rooney’s outstanding services to the club. It netted him approximately £8m pounds which he will either donate to his favourite charity or use to pay court injunctions and fines.

Deemed a club legend by assorted print media, Rooney appeared 85 times for the blues and clocked up an astonishing 28 goals, placing him a respectable nowhere on the clubs’ all time appearance and goalscoring charts.

Barkley fears over role at club.

Clarification has finally emerged over the reason Ross Barkley wanted to quit Everton this summer. It was thought initially, that the problems were on-field – with Everton set on (and ultimately signing) eight players who could play in his position, and the fact that unlike his predecessor, manager Ronald Koeman had asked him to run about. But it seems that with the return of Wayne Rooney to the club, Barkley could see his position as thickest player come under threat.

 Rooney has clearly wanted to make an instant impact upon his return, putting forward a strong bid to re-stake his position as club idiot.  The 31 year old hit the ground running, with rumours of marital infidelity and a drink driving charge already under his belt. Whilst this season, Barkley has offered little more than confusion over how to use a pen, and whether he had undergone a medical at Chelsea.

Everton had made it clear that they wanted Barkley to continue in his role. They adopted a slow, ponderous footballing style that suited him, and brought Rooney back to the club as a ‘cretin mentor’, not intending him to pick up the mantle of primary fool. However, it is now clear that Barkley wants to force through a move to Spurs in the January transfer window, where he feels he can take over the role currently filled by the Bruce Forsyth headed dunce Harry Kane.

Barkley himself was unavailable for comment, said to be working on a new colouring-in book.