Tag Archives: walsh

Meltdown over transfer activity.

Thousands of Evertonians are in meltdown over the clubs refusal to replicate last year’s summer transfer policy of signing anyone that they could find for any price that was asked.

The summer outlay of approximately £400m essentially landed Everton Jordan Pickford and an unmanageable wage bill.

Marcel Brands and Marco Silva have been much slower off the mark than previous incumbents Koeman and Walsh. The duo, bizarrely wanting to asses the current squad, and determine, which, if any of the 223 playing staff they want to retain before making any signings.

To outsiders it may seem that Brands has a difficult job on his hands, but with these minor additions to the starting eleven, Everton could easily break back into the Premier League’s Top 6:

GK: PICKFORD
LB: NEW SIGNING
CB: NEW SIGNING
CB: NEW SIGNING
RB: NEW SIGNING
LM: NEW SIGNING
CM: NEW SIGNING
CM: NEW SIGNING
RM: NEW SIGNING
S: NEW SIGNING
S: NEW SIGNING

Allardyce to focus on midfield recruitment.

With a punishing schedule of almost twenty league games and an FA Cup tie to contend with, Everton manager Sam Allardyce will be desperate to strengthen his midfield options in the January transfer window – an area grossly neglected by Steve Walsh and his predecessor Ronald Koeman in the summer.

With Kieron Dowell on loan at Nottingham Forrest, and long term absentees Yannick Bolasie and Ross Barkley seemingly weeks away from a return, the blues boss only has Morgan Schneiderlin, Wayne Rooney, Kevin Mirallas, Aaron Lennon, James McCarthy, Idrissa Gueye, Gylfi Sigurdsson, Davy Klaassen, Mo Besic, Tom Davies, Nikola Vlasic, Ademola Lookman and Beni Baningime at his disposal.

Thankfully, there are some areas where he doesn’t need to be concerned. At left-back, right-back Cuco Martina will battle it out with right-back Cuco Martina and the injured ghost of Leighton Baines. Whilst upfront, both Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Oumar Niasse will compete for the sole position of club striker. It is expected than Sandro Ramirez will return to La Liga, but it was also expected that he wouldn’t be useless – so who knows how that will play out.

Transfer Window Survival Guide.

As another season peters out to nothing, and the Everton squad don their flip-flops and suncream within five minutes of being guaranteed seventh place in the league, the blessed relief of another transfer window lurks on the horizon.

Of course, in order to be able to enjoy it, it is customary to dispense with reality and adopt the required Evertonian mindset. As it’s been a few months since the last, here’s a reminder of the logic and mentality you will need to adopt in order to make the summer transfer window almost bearable:

Ignore the restrictions of Financial Fair Play – they don’t apply to Everton. We should not be shopping within our means. Demand that Moshiri spends billions on players. Anything short of billions and you should declare him a FRAUD on social media. GET OUT MOSHIRI – YOU FRAUD!

And naturally he should be spending his OWN MONEY. We’re not a charity – does he think WE should be paying for these elite players – get your wallet out FRAUD!

And yes – ELITE PLAYERS is what we should be demanding and attracting – we’re Everton. We won the league 30 years ago! If we’re linked with anyone who is merely good – LET THAT FRAUD KNOW THAT IT WON’T DO!

Ignore the very idea that we might be unappealing to some players, with offers from clubs in London or glamorous European cities, a genuine chance of silverware and the promise of Champions League football. We’re in the EUROPA LEAGUE. In mid-June, in front of the eyes of the world’s media, our new signing could be slotting one home past the fourth best team in Latvia.

Demand we get our business done early. Preferably the day the transfer window opens. If not, it’s probably best to query the clubs’ transfer policy. What have they been doing since January – have they not seen where we need strengthening!? Are we really not going to sign anyone!?

If any deal falls through – be it real or fictional – blame it on Kenwright and Elstone’s negotiating. Everyone outside of the club, who’s never been involved in, or sat through these negotiations, knows they’re incompetent and entirely to blame – KENWRIGHT OUT!

And don’t get yourself started on scouting of talent – you know who we should be signing, not those clowns in charge. Have they not been watching YouTube highlight reels?

Linked with another kid again? Moan that we’re buying kids. Linked with an established player. Moan about that. He’s what – twenty eight!? What the hell are we paying Steve Walsh for? What’s his role at the club anyway – THE FRAUD!

WALSH OUT!

EVERYONE OUT!

Except new players – ANYONE IN – ANYONE! PLEASE!

Happy transfer window everybody – see you in Latvia next month.