Tag Archives: williams

Williams to be given custom made kit.


Ashley Williams is to receive a custom made kit for the rest of the season. The kit will feature an extra-long polo neck which will cover his entire face.

Manufacturers Umbro had noted that on several occasions, the clueless defender had been trying to pull his shirt over his face whenever one of his horrendous mistakes led to a goal. The new kit aims to eliminate that problem, leaving his face permanently covered – and Williams unable to see anything happening in front of him. The Everton coaching staff believe that the loss of vision that Williams will face, will not have any further negative impact on his play.

It is thought that given the dross football that has been served up this season so far. The kit could actually be a big seller with fans unlucky enough to be within Goodison on a match day.

Police remain optimistic over missing Williams.

South Wales Police are still optimistic of locating Ashley Williams, fourteen months after he went missing following Wales’ exit from Euro 2016 at the hands of Portugal.

The reasonably competent defender, who at his most dynamic, looked like he could be a decent stop-gap signing for a team (until a younger and better option was secured) is sorely missed within the footballing community.

Williams of course, is not to be confused with the similarly named Ashley Williams who has been stealing a living at Goodison Park.  The blues’ overweight, permanently ball-hoofing, mistimed tackle-merchant has been safely accounted for in the Finch Farm canteen since August 2016.